


tusk

by thearcherballet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fake BFF AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Met In A Bar AU, Muggle AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thearcherballet/pseuds/thearcherballet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a stranger breathing down Lily's neck on the night she was supposed to be drowning her sorrows, a very attractive angel with dark hair decides to rescue her along with his... boyfriend?<br/>a jily fake bff/muggle au with sirius black</p>
            </blockquote>





	tusk

**Author's Note:**

> i suggest you listen to Fleetwood Mac's Tusk as you read this :)  
> enjoy!

“Oi, Ginger! Thank goodness I found you!”

Lily turned around, her eyes widening at the voice that called–apparently –for her.

“I’m sorry?” she said to the stranger, appraising the man in tight jeans and a very, erm, black leather jacket, the ridiculous kind with leather strips hanging loosely from each sleeve.

 “I got lost on my way here,” he explained. “Well, I went to the Cardinal Street pub, our usual place, before I remembered I was supposed to meet you here.” He grabbed both her hands in his, but as she didn’t know of any pub on Cardinal Street, and as she’d never talked to this stranger before, she only grew more alarmed.

Then she saw how wide he was smiling and his earnest eyes, and it clicked.

She thanked every heaven that existed for this stranger.

“Yes, right! Because- Because I have some very exciting news to tell you and this is where we’re meeting,” she said, nodding at him.

“I’m so excited to hear your news,” he confirmed, adding pursed lips and a wink, as if they were little conspiracy sisters.

“I can’t wait to tell you everyth-”

“’Scuse me, are you deaf? I was talking to you.”

Ah, yes, the berk, and the probable reason why this amazing person felt he needed to intervene. He’d been harassing her all evening, asking her stupid questions to get her attention. All she wanted was to drown her sorrows with a pint of the best ale in town.

But no, she couldn’t, because this–this human obstacle had been a pain in her arse almost since she sat down. She’d even lost it, snapped, saying she wasn’t interested, and he had the nerve to laugh, wink, and tell her, “Oh, c’mon Red. You know you want me.” She’d rolled her eyes and said something about how he must be psychic, that yes, she very much wanted him: lying lifeless in the gutter without his testicles. And he laughed. He thought she was playing hard to get.

None of this mattered now, because this amazing man, her angel, was going to save her from this useless mouth-breather

“I’m sorry, have we met?” the stranger, who had until that point spoken only to Lily, turned to address the mouth-breather.

“No. I was talking to Red here, and you’ve interrupted our conversation.” It amazed Lily that the  _berk_ could be genuinely annoyed by the presence of this miraculous individual.

“I’m sure you are probably a very fine man, let’s get a few things straight, shall we? First, her hair isn’t red, it’s auburn,” the stranger said with a smile plastered on his face, one hand on a hip while the other gesticulated. “Second, my best friend is too pretty for you.” Lily placed her hands on her heart with a small pout and said  _aww_. The stranger snapped at her, “I’m not done here, Ginger,” but he was cut off by her angel. “Last, but not least, she is very much taken. So why don’t you go rot away in some other pub.”

With that, he took Lily’s hand, winked at the man, and sashayed away towards an empty table, bringing Lily with him. He leaned in towards her and murmured in a much deeper voice than the one he’d used with  _The_   _Mouth-Breather,_ “Don’t thank me just yet, he’s going to come out of his stupor in a moment and follow you, but wait, darling.”

Lily almost jumped in surprise.  _What was happening?_

They only made it a few more steps when  _The Mouth Breather_  did, indeed, recover and catch up to them. “Excuse me, you have no right to take her away, I wasn’t finished.”

The  _angel_ gave the  _The Mouth-Breather,_ who was blocking their path,a charming smile. He looked him over from the top of his head to his feet, appraising him. He nodded in approval. “Do you exercise? You have strong arms, though of course, not as strong as my boyfriend. Sirius!” He called out to a tall, muscular man wearing long black hair and a black colored turtleneck jumper. He answered the call, walked towards the _angel_ , and embraced him.

“Jay-Jay, where’s Ginger? Oh, there you are,” he said laughing as he leaned in to hug Lily. He murmured in her ear, “Don’t worry Ginger. Everything will be fine as long as you follow along,” before releasing her with a dazzling smile. Then he turned to  _the angel_ and asked, “Jay, who is this fine gentleman? He’s quite fit, nice arse.” The boyfriend,  _Sirius_ , nudged the angel,  _Jay-Jay_ , as he said this, quirking his eyebrow at both his apparent boyfriend and the man, who looked very confused by the exchange.

Jay-Jay took Sirius’ arm and pressed his chest against him. “Sirius, dear our best mate is steps from getting engaged to an extremely wonderful man. And yet, my new friend here has been harassing her. He doesn’t seem to take a hint.”

The man rolled his eyes and asked Lily, “Red, come on, you really call these two your best mates?”

She scoffed. “I am highly offended that you’re still talking to me, especially now knowing that I am, in fact, engaged.”

Sirius and Jay-Jay whipped their heads around to look at her. A few bystanders in the pub, also, had started to notice the group’s exchange. Sirius placed a hand on his mouth as he gasped, and Jay-Jay fanned himself, pretending to be in shock. “This is unbelievable!” Sirius laughed, hugging her again. Jay-Jay yelled to anyone who would listen, “She’s engaged! My best friend is engaged!”

Lily’s grin could have been real, for all she knew; this had to be the best rejection she’d ever given to a guy. The  _berk_  deserved it, too.

“You know what, forget it. Red-heads aren’t my thing,” he shrugged, apparently admitting defeat. Both Sirius and Jay-Jay appeared to have forgotten about him completely as they continued to shower Lily with congratulations. They didn’t give up the farce until they heard the pub’s front door slam shut.

Though both men still grinned, they now they looked ecstatic, rather than fake-excited.

“That was brilliant, mate,” Sirius told Jay-Jay in a deeper voice than she’d yet heard come out of his mouth.

“I  _told_ you it would work.”

“You are my angels, both of you, and officially my new best mates,” Lily declared as she reached out and hugged them both.

“And you’re officially buying us some drinks, dear,” Sirius winked at her. “I’m joking of course! What would the lady like to drink?”

“I would like another try at the pint I was trying to enjoy before that annoying piece of shit started breathing down my neck.”

“Not one to shy away from strangers?”

“Not ones that pretend to be gay in order to save me.”

“We might not be gay to you, but we’re plenty gay.” Sirius winked again and planted a kiss on James’ lips, for which he received a sharp kick to the shins, before heading to the counter and ordering their desired drinks.

“I’m James, by the way.”

“Lily.”

“Sorry for intruding on your night, Lily. Are you waiting on someone?” James brushed the back of his neck, and Lily noticed that he slouched, now, rather poise and strut he’d been using before.

“Not really, I was just having a depressing night alone with my best friend.”

“Who’s that?”

“The bottom of my glass.”

James laughed loudly. “You’re snarky; I like you. I overheard the line where you told him that you’d rather see him in the gutter without testicles,” his eyes almost glinted with a mixture of pride and awe. “Bloody amazing.”

“He didn’t appreciate my sarcasm.”

“Yes, well, he’s an idiot. I appreciated it though, and I was the mastermind behind all of this, thanks to what you said.”

“That was very thoughtful of you…Jay-Jay.”

Sirius returned with their drinks, plopping down into one of the plopped down on one of the empty seats. He leaned back in his chair, tilting it on the back two legs. “So, did  _Jay-Jay,_ I mean James, try to convince you of his heterosexuality? Don’t believe him for a second.”

James kicked the back leg of his chair in an attempt to make him fall, although he was grinning the whole time. “Don’t need to, she totally bought it.”

“I never said I have,” Lily said, lifting her drink to her lips and gulping down a mouthful of ale.

“Told you it wouldn’t work,” Sirius said triumphantly, slapping his hand on the table. “Tell me Ginger, how did you manage to end up here, of all places, by your lonesome?”

Lily winced and took a few more sips of her drink. “I was engaged.”

“That part was true?”

“Was. Past. As in three hours ago.”

“Was he cheating?” James asked.

“I wish. He went behind my back to work for my company’s competitor. As soon as he saw how fat the check was, he ran.”

“Figuratively?”

“Literally, to France of all places,” Lily rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t even speak French!”

“We’re here for you,” James placed his hand on her forearm.

“Of course, you came to a pub to console a stranger,” she scoffed.

“You looked like you needed it, plus it helped me and Sirius to get back in the game.”

“What game?”

“The game of seducing beautiful people,” James said with a grin and a look that was apparently supposed to explain everything.

“You’re not doing much of a good job of it.”

“Who said so Ginger?” James said with a smirk.

“I still think you’re gay.”

“Gay for each other,” Sirius explained. “A few kisses here and there never hurt your best mate’s self-esteem.”

“Is that right for you, James?”

He shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.”

Lily smiled at both of the men. As she took another drink, she realized maybe this night wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“I’m really happy you helped me. I could have handled it myself, but I’m glad I met you both.”

James and Sirius grinned at her, simultaneously saying ‘Cheers’, and with the clink of three pints, they could feel the beginning of a legendary friendship.


End file.
